So I just thought I'd post some updates about the mixed up life of Margo for anyone who's interested. Overall, life is pretty much same old, same old, still livin with the parents and kinda looking for a job. I'll be going on my first vocation-discernment retreat with the Daughters of St. Paul at their Boston motherhouse during Holy Week in April!! Here's hoping and praying that will help enlighten me as to whether I should seriously pursue religious life.
I'm so back and forth between religious life and married life. There's still a major part of me that desires marriage and longs to be a stay-at-home mother. But, religious life, especially the Daughters of St. Paul is becoming more appealing as well...and I still struggle with trying to get my will matched up with God's will.
I think I have far too many desires, but can't get myself to act on any of them, other than the discernment retreat. Here's just a brief "bucket list"
- Study for a Master's Degree in Theology at the Augustine Institute in Denver
- Travel to Rome and explore the Vatican while eating authentic Italian deliciousness
- Work as a Youth Minister, or Director of Religious Ed, or as a pastor's Personal Assistant, or even just as a parish office assistant, OR as an apologist for Catholic Answers
- run a marathon (or maybe do another half)
- Figure out my vocation once and for all
- Overcome my vices, actually develop self discipline, and live entirely for Jesus, being completely selfless, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind....being so close to Christ that I naturally radiate His love to everyone I meet so then they will fall in love with Him
I'm also starting to go ridiculously stir crazy and am actually getting motivated to get one of those job things, even though I managed to make things hard for myself by taking way too long to get my act together, which means a mostly blank resume (at least I do have some volunteer experience, but I haven't had a legit paid job since December of 2011).
I somehow found a bunch of theological discussion groups on Facebook, which are now what keep me "busy", trying to explain the faith to others (mostly Protestants) while working on that patience virtue. I don't know why, but I LOOOVE discussing theology/morality/chastity...if only I could get paid for that. Seriously, God has given me some pretty interesting gifts/talents, but I can't quite make a living off any of them, *frustration*
I got trapped in my routine of 5:15 daily mass at my parish and for too long, I was afraid of having to give that up in order to have a job. Spending time with Jesus became overly important to me and I'm just now realizing that I am probably one of the most unusual young adults ever. I mean I'd rather spend time with Jesus than have a job?!? It's terribly irresponsible for me and it's probably high time for me to wake up and realize that unfortunately, life costs money. I can't live with my parents forever; I need money for rent, electricity, groceries, clothes...and I am trying to live simplistically, which is way easier said than done.
*Sigh* I really need to get better at this being-an-adult thing...sometimes I feel more like an 80-year-old trapped in a 20-year-old body since I'm SUCH a homebody and super low key about things...why is getting a job and figuring out my vocation so freaking difficult?? (yes, rhetorical question)
May God bless you all :)